Has the Hospitality Industry Lost It’s Warmth? Has Service Lost It’s Soul?
A personal take on why hotels and restaurants are failing at the very service they are celebrated for.
The Restaurant That Forgot Me…
The server placed a dessert in front of me — a complimentary one, he said — and walked away.
It was my birthday.
And yet, the main course I had been waiting all evening to savour — the restaurant’s speciality — never came. The kitchen had closed.
This was not a roadside café or a casual diner. This was one of the nation’s most celebrated fine-dining establishments, owned by a sporting legend. I had walked in expecting excellence, care, and attention to detail. Instead, I walked out questioning whether the very soul of hospitality had begun to fade.
A dear friend had long wanted to take me here. We had a reservation, yet still waited outside. The first table offered was unsatisfactory, so we requested to move when a better one became available. Somewhere in this shuffle, our orders were mishandled.
One server forgot to enter part of the order. Later, another came to confirm, only to rattle off a list of dishes we had never requested while leaving out the ones we had. Service was slow, especially at our table, while others around us enjoyed lively birthday celebrations.
Then came the moment that left me speechless: when we finally decided to order the main course, the server informed us the kitchen had closed. No warning. No courtesy check. Just a flat “sorry.” On my birthday.
When I expressed disappointment, no manager came over. No attempt was made to salvage the evening. No gesture of care or acknowledgment of the occasion. A complimentary dessert eventually arrived — but it felt like an afterthought, not hospitality.
Birthdays are about being remembered. That evening, I was not.
The Restaurant That Spilled More Than Wine
If that experience had left me disappointed, what happened more recently left me disturbed. At a reputed restaurant that serves premium Tamil cuisine, I walked in to celebrate a friend’s birthday, determined to give the place another chance despite having fallen sick after my last visit.
The evening began with a mishap — the waiter accidentally spilled water on my friend’s brand-new iPhone. Instead of rushing to help salvage the phone, he hurried back with a sponge to wipe the table, and casually suggested an app to “drain the water out.” His expression carried no genuine concern, only mild embarrassment.
Not long after, while serving the main course, the same server knocked over a wine glass. The red wine splashed across the table and onto another friend’s brand-new white pants. She was understandably upset. Once again, the response was the same: a few tissues, cold apology, and certainly no effort to recover the moment.
What made it worse was the attitude. Instead of the manager stepping in to acknowledge the situation, another server quietly took over. The staff exchanged snickers amongst themselves, showing not remorse but detachment. At the end of it all, the “compensation” offered was a complimentary glass of wine and some payasam — a gesture that felt hollow, almost insulting.
Once again, I walked out with the same question on my mind: when did hospitality stop caring?
The Shift I Am Noticing Everywhere
Everywhere I go lately — hotels, stores, even airports — one thing keeps catching my attention. Service is slick, efficient, and polite. But it feels… hollow.
It is as though customer experience has been reduced to systems and checklists. Quick greetings, scripted lines, well-rehearsed smiles. All good — yet something vital is missing.
For decades, the hospitality industry represented the gold standard of service. Trainers used stories from hotels and restaurants to illustrate customer delight — warm greetings, personal touches, the almost uncanny way staff remembered a guest’s name and preferences.
Somewhere along the way, hospitality — the very business of people — has become transactional. Guests are handled, not cared for. Customers are processed, not engaged.
They no longer remember who you are.
They no longer recall your preferences.
They no longer greet you with genuine warmth.
And when something goes wrong, they do not always make the effort to make it right.
Hospitality is not about the room or the plate. It is about the memory you create.
The question that keeps echoing in my mind is this: When did hospitality lose its soul?
It Is Not Only Restaurants
BBhuvaneshwarii and I travel a lot for our coaching programs and our clients put us up in premium, business and luxury hotels. I have seen some good days and some bad days where luggage never reached the room unless I repeatedly followed up. Buffet meals served cold . Snacks were stale. Room preferences were ignored. Even greetings at check-in felt mechanical. Some even told me they have run out of butter!!??
And it is not just hotels and restaurants. Walk into many retail stores today, and the pattern is eerily familiar. Instead of being welcomed into a space of discovery, customers are scanned for their purchase potential. Conversations feel like sales pitches, not guidance. What once was about delight and trust is now reduced to a checklist — recommend, upsell, bill, move on. (During our personal shopping visits with head honchos, we need to visit the store in advance and actually prep them!!)
When service becomes transactional, it may achieve efficiency but it loses its soul. True hospitality — whether in a fine-dining restaurant, a boutique, or even a corporate boardroom — is not about the transaction at hand, but the relationship it nurtures. It is about the small, human gestures that linger long after the sale or the service is complete.
Because in the end, people rarely remember the exact dish they ordered or the price they paid. What they do remember is how they felt in that moment.
Why Is This Happening?
It is easy to point to staffing shortages, inadequate training, or high turnover. But I suspect something deeper is at play.
The way I see it…
Hospitality has shifted from relationship to transaction.
From creating memories to merely processing orders.
From anticipating needs to reacting only when explicitly asked.
And perhaps, as guests, we have lowered our expectations. We have accepted “good enough” service from brands that once prided themselves on being exceptional.
The New Luxury
In the world ahead, the true differentiator will not be technology, efficiency, or even luxury. It will be humanity.
Not only what we offer, but how we make people feel.
Because long after the service is complete, people do not remember the speed of delivery or the precision of a process. They remember how you made them feel — valued, respected, and seen.
What Needs to Change
True hospitality is more than efficiency. It is about creating emotional connection. It is about making a guest feel seen, valued, and cared for — especially in moments that matter, like a birthday dinner.
In an age where experiences are shared instantly and widely, the brands that will stand out are the ones that return to the heart of hospitality: connection, anticipation, and care.
The future of service will not be measured only by whether companies can serve well.
It will be measured by whether they choose to serve from the heart.
And that shift — from process to presence, from transaction to connection — will redefine what hospitality truly means.
Because the difference between a stay and a memory is how you make someone feel.
If this trend continues, the question is not whether customers will remember you.
It is whether they will want to.
– Sonal Gadhvi
Director & Co-Founder – NYOUNYOU – Co-founded in 2016, by Sonal Gadhvi and BBhuvaneshwarii, NYOU is a Communication Coaching & Training firm for Corporate & Personal Growth.
Recognised by Economic Times under “Enterprising Indians” and CEO Insights as TOP 10 Image Consultants of IndiaSonal believes every voice carries a story waiting to be told. With over 100,000 hours of coaching experience, she has guided leaders, teams, and individuals to transform not just how they communicate—but how they are remembered. An NLP practitioner, image management expert, and leadership coach, she builds cultures of confidence where words connect and presence speaks louder than titles. With a foundation in psychology and more than 25 years of cross-industry experience, her journey spans Talent Acquisition, Strategic HR, Training, and Business Development across IT, BFSI, Media, F&B, and Matrimonial industries. Having partnered with organisations across technology, finance, healthcare, real estate, export-import, FMCG, multiple service-driven sectors in retail, BFSI and consulting services. Sonal understands that whether it is a boardroom or a customer floor, or a self employed dentist’s clinic, the true differentiator lies in communication, presence, and culture.
Sonal is a Communication Specialist, Public Speaking & StoryTelling, Internationally Certified in Image Management and Behavioural Training | NLP Practitioner & Coach I Expert in Leadership Personality and Growth Development I Company Culture Building and has Over 100000 Coaching hrs experience.
